Cane

dead tree

Lazies Turning Their Christmas Trees Into Valentine's Trees

If the thought of taking down your Christmas tree makes you wanna just go to bed, how 'bout this? Or this? Or perhaps this? Valentine's trees . Hey man, I like 'em. They're pretty! You get another month out of your tree, too...another month to relax. Although, taking off the Christmas decorations...
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doll

Haunted Elsa Doll Terrorizes Family

All dolls creep me out. My dad had a ventriliquist doll that sat on the top shelf of the closet, just waiting to kill me. He wouldn't get rid of it, though, even though he knew it gave me night terrors. Good fathering, right there. The owners of this Elsa doll TRIED to let it go (sorry), but it...
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shaved dog

People Are Making Scarves And Mittens Out Of Dead Pet's Fur

I can't decide if this is sweet or creepy. On the one hand, it would be nice to be able to cuddle with your pet forever, but on the other hand, your pet is lying in the ground all hairless and.... I think I'm going with creepy. Hop on over to Etsy though, if you'd like to pay to have your dead pet'...
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butt

The Yearly List Of Things We Got Stuck In Our Bodies

I once shoved a Lucky Charm up my nose. It smelled good. But I had to go to the doctor to get it out, and my parents were not happy. That's nothing compared to the strange things we got stuck in our noses, ears, butts, and.....other places, this past year. Here's a comprehensive list from the U.S...
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ctrl alt del

Ctrl+ALT+Del Most Liked Of The Week 1/13/2020

Yeah, baby. That was a nice long vacation, but we're back to the Most Liked Of the Week...and the Most Disliked.
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John Rodgers

Proposed Bill Would Ban Cell Phone Use For Anyone Under 21

Before you panic, this bill is proposed in Vermont. But....are they serious? It would make it illegal for anyone under the age of 21 to use or possess a cell phone in the state. The bill is S.212 if you wanna read it, but the punishments proposed are more insane than the law itself. A YEAR behind...
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dmv

Ever Wanna Bust Some Skulls At The DMV? Jersey City Lady Did

Death...taxes...and a horrific experience at the DMV. These are the real guarantees of life. Shawna Joseph from Jersey City did something we've all thought of while standing on line, inhaling the air of the unwashed, and wondering if this "fucking line will ever MOVE!" Tuesday afternoon, Shawna...
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nacho fries

Taco Bell's Nacho Fries Returning With New Flavor Innovation

Got some important food updates... I've never had the Nacho Fries from Taco Bell, but I know how excited people get about them, and they're coming back! (I'm stoked for you.) Coming back with a new "flavor innovation," too. What does that mean? Dunno. But these people are guessing that it has...
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toilet paper

H.S. Kids Put Time To Good Use, Build Record T.P. Pyramid

Beats doing common core math. A high school robotics team in Michigan recently stacked TWENTY-SEVEN THOUSAND rolls of toilet paper into a pyramid to set a new worlds record for wasting valuable time. Video of Bullock Creek Robotics attempts to break Guinness World Record They stacked that s*** to a...
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Ricky Gervais

Ricky Gervais Obliterates Hollywood Elites (Full Monologue)

Everyone is talking about the Golden Globes today. Not for who won, though. Nobody cares. It's all about the host, Ricky Gervais. He just eviscerated the smug Hollywood elite with a monologue that's probably not gonna help him get future work. Not that he cares. Video of Ricky Gervais'...
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