Snowstorm? Time to Stock Up.

Forget Bread and Milk, Here's What You Really Need...

March 3, 2019
snow day


It happens every time. Whether it's 1" or 12", as soon as snow is forecast, the world freaks out and raids the supermarkets for all things loaven and dairy. It's puzzling really; what do all these people plan to do with plain bread and milk when they're shut in? If we're gonna prepare for a Snowpocalypse, we need to gather up the supplies we're REALLY gonna need. Therefore, in light of the 5-8" that are supposed to get dropped on us tonight, I've prepared a little list for you.

  1. Your Netflix Passwords - Not something you have to head out for, but something you should make sure you have on hand or saved on whatever device you're planning on watching on. There would be nothing worse than having a perfect day for binge-watching and have NO WAY TO BINGE-WATCH. Dig up the passwords.
  2. Take-Out Menus - Another item you have already SOMEWHERE, but worth digging up ahead of time. This will speed up the ordering process so you can get back to the aforementioned binge-watching. Try to supress the guilt of asking someone ELSE to brave the elements so you don't have to - those delivery guys are like postal workers... "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds..." Just tip well and eat up!
  3. Cereal - This one's good to either add  variety and mix things up if you're getting take-out later or a solid substitution if you are too broke for the take-out in the first place. $10 delivery minumums can be killer mid-pay-period. A $5 box of Lucky Charms can last you all day.
  4. Milk - I guess this one actually is useful, especially if you're getting cereal. Also, for the coffee. Did you get coffee? S$#t, that reminds me...
  5. COFFEE - I can't think of a fresher hell than being locked inside for an entire day without coffee. Don't forget the coffee.
  6. Liquor - Completely disregard this one if you are under 21 and pay SPECIAL attention to it if you have children who ALSO have a snow day. You're gonna need it. (also disregard this one if you are lucky enough to live near a liquor store that delivers.)
  7. TP - Make sure you have toilet paper. It would reeaaaallly suck if you didn't.


Those are the basics. Armed with this list, you *should* probably survive until Tuesday. Maybe. If not, you lived a mostly good life, whatever.