Dolphins Like to Get High

...and some of them are kind of a-holes.

August 18, 2019
Dolphins playing

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Completely randomly, I stumbled on the fact that dolphins like to get high JUST LIKE US! Apparently, there was a documentary a while back from the BBC that showed dolphins getting high off of a puffer fish! When puffer fish are threatened, they emit a toxin which, in small doses, can cause a trance-like state. So, the dolphins poke at it and freak it out and pass it between themselves for 20-30 minutes at a time (puff, puff, pass... LITERALLY.) 

This got me thinking...dolphins are supposedly one of the most intelligent animals on the planet. I feel like the smarter the animal, the more likely it is that there's a contingent of them that are totally jerks. I mean, take this recent video of a dolphin who rammed a paddle-boarder out of his way:

Totally hilarious, but a total d-bag move. Why couldn't they all surf the wave, bruh?

Maybe dolphins are more nefarious than their sqeaky-clean Flipper reputation lets on...

So, inspired, I did a little digging and IT'S TOTALLY TRUE. DOLPHINS ARE ACTUALLY A-HOLES! There are SO. MANY. ARTICLES. about how EVIL dolphins actually are. 

This, of course, is traumatizing to me because I LOVE DOLPHINS. They're so cute and graceful and majestic - I thought they represented all that was good and beautiful in the world - intelligence at its finest. But it turns out they're just a hot mess of awful, just like a lot of humans. Dolphins are ruined for me now. It's kinda like when I saw a beautiful Blue Jay rip a baby bird out of a nest and EAT IT. Violently. I will never look at those gorgeous baby killers the same way ever again. 

Of course, if you refuse to be jaded by the cruelty of nature, you could read this article about all the ways dolphins are still awesome.  Because, balance.