Burgers top the DO NOT GRILL list

Say wha?

July 3, 2019
Burgers on the grill

iStock/Getty Images Plus/ styxclick

There is nothing as quintessentially summer and American as the grill. Cleaning the grill is as true a marker of the start of summer as the opening of the pools. Americans love summer grilling, and when you think of the great American cookout, the first things that come to mind are gonna be hot dogs and hamburgers (to go with your store-bought potato salad, natch.)

That's why I find it completely hilarious that Bloomberg put out a list of what not to grill and BURGERS TOPPED THE LIST. Like, what? We shouldn't grill burgers? Are you kidding me?

Apparently, the ideal way to cook a burger would be on a plancha or in a cast iron pan, to sear the outside and facilitate the formation of a good outer crust that seals in the juices. Vital fats are being lost to the coals, people! It's a crime!

Basically, this is some foodie s#!t, right here. Most of us are not trying to make some sophisticated artisinal burgers, we're opening those pre-made patties from the freezer section and plopping them on the grill. Besides, not only do I not own a plancha, I don't even know what one is. Most of the pretentious chefs that recommended taking burgers off the grill don't even have burgers on their menus! They serve things like Chicken Liver Mousse with Fennel Jam and Salmon with Kale Nori Pasta. I'm not against those things, I'm just saying these chefs' expertise is maybe a little out of touch with backyard grilling.

Then again, maybe this article speaks to you. Maybe you are all about "beefy crusts" and "umami rich fat". In which case, pull out your plancha and sear away! You do you.