September 16, 2019

Getty: FooTToo


Sometimes you need to call the internet on it’s b.s. This blog is one of those times.

Outlets are so desperate for feel-good ‘dog surprises his owner after 45 years apart’ click bait stories that they’ll really turn just about anything into some second rate hallmark channel made-for-tv movie.

Take this news story for example. A Montana grandmother adorably aims her hair drier at cars in hopes of preventing them from speeding. Isn’t that so cute? The local police even gave her the honorary title of Junior Trooper. I would've gone with Chemically Imbalanced.

Stop it. Just, stop it. No.

This woman is insane and more than likely a threat to the well being of citizens of her town. Think about this. She wakes up every morning. We all go to work. We feed the kids. We walk the dog. She walks to the side of the road carrying a lawn chair and unplugged hair drier and proceeds to sit there all day pretending the hair drier is a gun.

That’s terrifying. I haven’t seen the new Halloween reboot but if they kill off Michael Myers, I’ve got their new monster right here!

42nd street, Washington Square Park…sure, I probably let this sight slide. Anywhere else on planet earth - I’m calling the local authorities immediately - and they better not give her some made up job title!