Here's Your Proof Jersey Has the Smartest People

February 11, 2020
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dzika_mrowka

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Tuesdays are tough for me. Mondays are easy to get up for. Two straight days of rest. The promise of a new and exciting week. Tuesday not so much. This Tuesday was particularly difficult. As I'm browsing Twitter, I'm simultaneously met with deep, meaningful pride and even deeper daggers of insecurity. The headline read: NJ Student Discovers New Planet. Yes, a teenage in Jersey discovered a planet. He can't even drive without his mom and he is singlehandedly expanding our solar system. I once had a touchdown against Wayne Hills high school. I simply do not measure up. Where did I go wrong? What does he have that I don't? Maybe I shouldn't hung out with that kid who's older brother smoked cigarettes like my mom told me! My life flashed before my eyes and then my Netflix asked me if I was still watching Kingpin. Hopefully you're a more stable adult than I am and can simply congratulate this young man on the tremendous accomplishment. As for me, it'll be at least another couple months of therapy before I can join you.