IF YOU'RE STRIKING OUT ROMANTICALLY, STEP UP YOUR EMOJI GAME!!

Who would have thought?!?

August 19, 2019

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If you are like most people, you are probably on a dating app, dealing with crazy unstable singles and are simply striking out, ROMANTICALLY!  Basically, you have the game of a sloth and couldn't get action in a strip club with a fist full of 100's.  

Here is some great advice - STEP UP YOUR EMOJI GAME!!!

I said the same thing.....well minus the "don't call me shirley" part but its true, how you use emojis apparently says something about your personality.  Not sure why ANYBODY would fund such a ridiculous study but here it is......researchers did two studies and determined that people who frequently used emojis went on more first dates over the last year, had more frequent sexual activity, and were more likely to enter into a relationship with a person they dated and/or slept with. (PSA: you must last longer than the amount of commercials we are currently playing at any given time for this to apply, #2MINUTEPROCESS

Oh yeah, I get it, nothing says a second date and sex more than the POOP emoji!! (that has a twitter, WTH!!!)

Now ALL of this might be true but YOU STILL NEED TO SHOWER AND OH YEAH, GET A DAMN JOB!!!