Doctors say you shouldn't drink. But also that you should.

June 7, 2019

So, I'm thinking about not drinking for the summer.  Not an "oh, I'll still have a beer after work or a glass of wine with dinner" kind of not drinking.  I'm talking no drinking.  At ALL.



"(uncontrollable laughter)."

Those are the most common responses I get when I tell people of my silly plan.  I get it, though.  And they're right!  Why the fuck would I want to ruin my summer like that?  

Eh, I dunno, my health?  (FYI, one can be "sober curious."  Read that here.)

But back to the health this thing.  It's a list of all the ways alcohol can mess you up, including, but not limited to, "pancreatitis, head and neck cancer, and cardiomyopathy." That last one is stretching and drooping of heart muscle.  

Drooping.  Of muscle.  Damn.  Ok, I'm out.


Then you click a few more things and eventually land on THIS.  That's a thing that lists the benefits of drinking!  Like improving your libido, preventing the common cold, and the kicker, "lengthening your life!"  Sweet! 


What?  Lengthening?  How?  What about the cancer and the droopy and all the things that end in "titis?"  Doesn't that stuff....kill you?  So confusing.  And you see contradictory stories like this every day.  One day wine keeps your heart healthy, the next it promotes heart disease.  

So basically, I think the takeaway here is, do whatever the hell you want.  You know your body...use your head.  Tequila makes you angry and want to fight guys named Randy?  Drink vodka then.  (Although, that name is pretty annoying.)  Maybe someday doctors will get their shit together and get their stories straight and give us the real truth. 

Until then, though, cheers to a happy summer, and I'll see you down the shore!

I'll be the drunk talking to Randy.