Pictured: Not me and my dad. My dad was an ass.

June 14, 2019

So, according to THIS, these are the things you're spending your money on for dad.

1.  A card.

2.  A "special outing," like dinner at a restaurant.

3.  Clothes. 

4.  A gift card.

5.  A book or CD.

6.  Personal care items.

7.  Electronics.

8.  Tools or appliances.

9.  Home improvement or gardening supplies.

10.  Sporting goods.

Does your dad even want any of those things?  I know damn well your dad can do without a card.  We bought my dad one every year, thinking "this year will be different. He'll actually read what we wrote, and he will cry and hug us."


"Hey wife, throw this away for me."

So try getting dad something on THIS list, as these are the things he really wants.

1.  A phone call from my kids, 47%.

2.  A big steak, 41%.

3.  Some peace and quiet, 38%.

4.  Watching a baseball game with the family, 38%.

5.  A few beers, 35%.

6.  A cheap, practical gift like socks or a tie, 35%.

7.  A glass of wine, 34%.

8.  To watch whatever I want on TV, 34%.

9.  A glass of whiskey, 29%.

10.  An expensive physical gift, like an Apple watch, 29%. 

See?  No card.  He wants whiskey.  The tv to himself.  Peace and quiet.  

Those last two are free!  Dad rules.

Happy Father's Day.