Fake AirPods Are Proof Society Is Doomed

(Removes fake headphone) "What?"

October 3, 2019

My grandma told me a story once about when they first put air conditioning in cars, people who couldn't afford it would drive around with their windows up in the dead of summer just so other people thought they had it.

I didn't believe her.

I do now, though, because it turns out we haven't changed a bit.  Feeling a little insignificant and nugatory because you can't afford real AirPods?  Pffff.  Who needs 'em? Check out these new fake AirPods for $9.95!  Who knew self-esteem could be so affordable?

A guy texted in the other day with this story..."Great story w iPods. Back when people had beepers, I knew a girl who had a fake beeper w gum in side n she wore it on her waist n would check it like it was real.  Just crazy man."

Hilarious, but sad.  People, people...your worth isn't based on what you're wearing or what you drive, it's based on what teams you root for! 

Fiiiiine.  It's based on what's in here (points to heart). 

But for some, as the story points out, it's not about status, it's about wearing the fake AirPods because.....fashion?  “Hell yeah, that’s fire,” says Manhattanite Rachel B. Levia . “I like the idea of AirPods as jewelry.”  


I'll give an actual critic the last word: