Apple To Phone Thieves: You Are Being Tracked

Knock, knock, numbnuts.

June 3, 2020

Apple CEO Tim Cook sent a message to his employees, saying that “there is a pain deeply etched in the soul of our nation and in the hearts of millions. To stand together, we must stand up for one another, and recognize the fear, hurt, and outrage rightly provoked by the senseless killing of George Floyd and a much longer history of racism.”

He added, "At Apple, our mission has and always will be to create technology that empowers people to change the world for the better. We’ve always drawn strength from our diversity, welcomed people from every walk of life to our stores around the world, and strived to build an Apple that is inclusive of everyone.”

That said, if you stole one of his phones, he's coming for you.

Some of you.


Those who thought they were getting a $1,000 iPhone for free were in for a little suprise when they turned them on:  “This device has been disabled and is being tracked,” it says. “Local authorities will be alerted.”

Now, I'm sure very few, if any of those phones will be returned. They'll probably be stripped for parts or encased in cement and tossed into the East River, but they know where you are, never know.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?